I thought that I would take a few moments out of my busy schedule of mourning the death of Michael Jackson, watching newscasts about his death, or reading articles about his death, and write about a few random thoughts that I have had lately (and yes, my tongue was firmly placed inside of my cheek as I wrote that sentence).
If you're like me, and God help you if you are, you find humor in just about everything that this insane world has to offer. For me, I usually find it in the local news outlets. For instance, I came across this story in the local news section of the Yahoo! website yesterday:
http://abclocal.go.com/wls/story?section=news/state&id=6891106&rss=rss-wls-article-6891106
The article explains that in Loves Park, IL there has been a ban on all ice cream trucks for decades and the city is considering lifting the ban. The reason for the ban on the ice cream trucks you may ask? Out of concern that children would run into the streets when they heard that familiar music and may be hit by the ice cream man. (comedic pause) What is the top speed of one those trucks anyway? 11 mph? Is the ice cream man really known for driving recklessly through neighborhoods? Now, obviously I do not find humor in the idea of children being run over by the ice cream man, but this ban seems a little excessive, doesn't it?
Another story that I found humorous was this story about the minimum wage increase:
http://www.wgntv.com/news/wgntv-minimum-wage-increase-june30,0,5026993.story
I really don't know what I find more amusing though; the fact that the state thinks that an extra quarter an hour is somehow life changing, or that the title of the article reads: Minimum Wage Increase Coming For Illinois Wokers (instead of Workers). Of course, being the literal idiot that I am, I immediately became excited for the chefs that prepare my Chinese take-out, because now they can almost afford to park down town for two hours with their pay increase.
Lastly, back in the day when I wore jean shorts and tied flannels around my waist (last month), Beavis and Butthead would have me in tears on a nightly basis. So image my delight when the gods sent the NBC 5 News crew into my life and blessed me with news anchors: Dick Johnson, Pete Sack, and Ellie Pai Hong. (side note: I'm giggling right now.)
Every night I'm in adolescent utopia at the very thought that at any given moment I have the chance to hear no less than 5 slang words for male and female genitalia in one broadcast--it's almost sensory overload! Now throw Ginger Zee's name into the mix and you have four rock solid (pun definitely intended) porn star names! Come on, can't you imagine the movie marquee? "Now starring in Orifice Space, Ellie Pai Hong and Pete Sack!" or "Dick Johnson and Ginger Zee go wild in Saturday Night Beaver!" BTW, if you enjoyed those movie titles, and I know that you did, then you'll love this website: http://www.funnytitles.com/
Yes, I'm fully aware that I am going straight to hell with a straight jacket on, but this crap still makes me laugh. Here's to hoping that the devil has a sense of humor. Happy 4th of July!
If you're like me, and God help you if you are, you find humor in just about everything that this insane world has to offer. For me, I usually find it in the local news outlets. For instance, I came across this story in the local news section of the Yahoo! website yesterday:
http://abclocal.go.com/wls/story?section=news/state&id=6891106&rss=rss-wls-article-6891106
The article explains that in Loves Park, IL there has been a ban on all ice cream trucks for decades and the city is considering lifting the ban. The reason for the ban on the ice cream trucks you may ask? Out of concern that children would run into the streets when they heard that familiar music and may be hit by the ice cream man. (comedic pause) What is the top speed of one those trucks anyway? 11 mph? Is the ice cream man really known for driving recklessly through neighborhoods? Now, obviously I do not find humor in the idea of children being run over by the ice cream man, but this ban seems a little excessive, doesn't it?
Another story that I found humorous was this story about the minimum wage increase:
http://www.wgntv.com/news/wgntv-minimum-wage-increase-june30,0,5026993.story
I really don't know what I find more amusing though; the fact that the state thinks that an extra quarter an hour is somehow life changing, or that the title of the article reads: Minimum Wage Increase Coming For Illinois Wokers (instead of Workers). Of course, being the literal idiot that I am, I immediately became excited for the chefs that prepare my Chinese take-out, because now they can almost afford to park down town for two hours with their pay increase.
Lastly, back in the day when I wore jean shorts and tied flannels around my waist (last month), Beavis and Butthead would have me in tears on a nightly basis. So image my delight when the gods sent the NBC 5 News crew into my life and blessed me with news anchors: Dick Johnson, Pete Sack, and Ellie Pai Hong. (side note: I'm giggling right now.)
Every night I'm in adolescent utopia at the very thought that at any given moment I have the chance to hear no less than 5 slang words for male and female genitalia in one broadcast--it's almost sensory overload! Now throw Ginger Zee's name into the mix and you have four rock solid (pun definitely intended) porn star names! Come on, can't you imagine the movie marquee? "Now starring in Orifice Space, Ellie Pai Hong and Pete Sack!" or "Dick Johnson and Ginger Zee go wild in Saturday Night Beaver!" BTW, if you enjoyed those movie titles, and I know that you did, then you'll love this website: http://www.funnytitles.com/
Yes, I'm fully aware that I am going straight to hell with a straight jacket on, but this crap still makes me laugh. Here's to hoping that the devil has a sense of humor. Happy 4th of July!
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